Thread Count

Jake has offered me this platform to talk baseball uniforms so let’s do it.  Okay so here goes. Welcome to Thread Count.

Today’s topic: alternate jerseys in baseball.

But, before we begin.  Let’s take a moment to remember those uniforms we lost this past year.

Though they are gone, they are not forgotten.  Thank you.

Alternate oh No-verload! 

Over the last few seasons there have been a few habitual alternate jersey abusers and it’s time that their crimes be brought to light.  The numbers below are from the 2019 regular season indicating how many times an alternate jersey was worn

1. Minnesota Twins: navy road, navy home, red. Worn 104 times
2. Texas Rangers: blue, red.  Worn 103 times
3. Arizona Diamondbacks: red, black, white alt, grey alt, throwback. Worn 98 times
4. Cleveland Indians: navy, red. Worn 86 times
5.  Los Angeles Angels: red. Worn 77 times

Dishonorable mentions go to the Nationals (4 alternate uniforms worn consistently) and Brewers (navy jersey worn nonstop).

Why is this a big deal?  It’s about respecting the game damnit! It’s about history.  It’s about knowing what your team will look like on any given night; About being able to look back fondly and recall what your team looked like during a seemingly unforgettable moment, not having to think wait which jersey were we wearing? If you’re a fan of the Yankees and you only get the chance to see one Yankees game in your life in person – you know what the team is going to be wearing.  Meanwhile, if they happen to be playing the Nationals, you will have no idea what the Nats will be wearing. I may be old fashioned and I may be unstable, but a Major League Baseball game should consist of the following: the home team wearing white and the road team wearing grey, preferably with the name of the city they represent on their chest.

Even the World Series is not immune to the rising use of alternate jerseys. It is unfortunate, because to me there’s something erotic about seeing a road team, drably dressed in grey, celebrating on another team’s field while the crowd watches on in stunned silence.  The plain grey uniforms seem to say, we know no one in the park is there to see us, there’s no need to wear any flashy designs.  We don’t care if you care about us.  All we care about is breaking your heart and bringing a championship back to the city on our chest.  Let's look back at some recent World Champions.

2014:

 

2015:

 

In 2016 the Cubs won the World Series for the first time in 108 years, it’s true look it up.  Their series clinching victory came after an epic Game 7 battle that went to extra innings in Cleveland where both teams were dressed as if it were a Cactus League game.  Including the Cubs, the past 4 World Series champions have clinched on the road in alternate jerseys.  This, is a travesty.  

2016: 

2017*: 

2018:

2019:

Is this the end of the world? Begrudgingly, I’ll admit no.  But what this is, is a slippery slope.  Look no further than the Yankees-Dodgers series last season.  If those 2 teams can play clown dress up also, nothing is sacred anymore.  Even my little anecdote above about the Yankee fan attending 1 game is no longer fully accurate!  Now there has to be a disclaimer, adding that’s assuming the game isn’t during the Players League Weekend.  Ugh.  Make it stop. 

What we could have had: 

2 ballplayers share a playful moment


What we got:

So where does this leave us? The MLB is on a “how do you do fellow kids” runaway train to the same grotesque alternate uniform universe that the NBA is trapped in. And before you know it, teams will be winning championships in garish alternates that don’t even include their team name or city on the front of their uniform. 

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Too Early, Just the Right Spot ;) or Steal: 2020 Edition

Every year we draft and every year we panic and pick a player too early. Some of us reach for players and it pans out. In 2017 Corona Primer (Tim Tebow Time that season) took Marcell Ozuna in the 21st round. That year Ozuna Finished with 124 RBIs. I'm no doctor but if I was I would diagnose that pick as a Steal. You see where I'm going with this so without anymore wasted time I bring to you:

Too Early, Just the Right Spot ;) or Steal

Gerrit Cole - RE2PECT: #1 pick - Yahoo Avg ADP: 1.6


Team Dicks All Rise made a bold move to start off our draft. GM Kyle over here took a pitcher over Ronald Acuna Jr, Christian Yelich, Cody BelBigDonger and the Mickey Mantle of this generation Mike Trout. I know what he would say and what you are all saying "but but Trout will miss time because of the birth of his child. He might not even play this year". Well I have some fucking news for you...this is Mike Fucking Trout...he will play and he will be GREAT. Pitching will be important this year but I have a few rules I live by and one of them is if you have the first pick you take Mike Trout.

This one will hit you all in the feels and give you a secondary stomach ache wave of pain in about 15 mins but our boy Kyle had his first child June 5th. He and his wife Maria welcomed a precious daughter into this word. You know who went to work a couple of days after she was born? Kyle. You know what Trout is about to do after his child is born....Go back to work.

I can go on and on with a pros and cons list but the thing is pro and cons lists are all well and good but there's only ONE FUCKING ANSWER.

Too Early

Sonny Gray - RE2PECT: Round 6 pick 8 - Yahoo Avg ADP: Round 9 Pick 9

Another rule I live by is I never trust a guy with the nickname "Pickles". Nobody has ever been in a situation and said "Thank god Pickles is here" or "Hey your single you should date my friend Pickles, he's a great guy." With that being said I think anthony's Team made a solid move here drafting Pickles in the 6th round. Although Yahoo's "experts" would make you believe that Ant got a steal here I believe this is the best sport for Pickles.

What stood out in Gray's first start this year was his ability to get ground balls. This is huge pitching in Cincinnati and if he can keep that going while still striking out batters at a high rate Ant will have  a pretty good pitching staff.

On the flip side, Sonny Gray's alter and very lame ego "Pickles" could come out. Picture Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde except Mr. Hide is a little guy names Pickles who pouts all the time on the mound and gives up BOMBS.

Just the Right Spot ;)

Anthony Rendon - RE2PECT: Round 3 pick 33 - Yahoo Avg ADP: Round 2 Pick 5

You all fucked up on this one. You all saw a a minor oblique injury and got scared. That's where Clit Frazier came in and stole one of the best hitters in baseball. The 3 Nationals fans in this league should know better. How many little injuries did Rendon have during his time time with the Nats and came through to hit the piss out of the ball? I get it you won the World Series but they should have re-signed him this year. Trea, Soto and Rendon sounds a lot better than Trea, Soto and Starlin Castro.

Rendon returned last year and hit a bomb in the 8th inning. Didn't miss that much time...

Steal