Saturday, May 6, 2017

GM Kyky

If I were the GM of a MLB team, I'd probably be a mediocre one at best. As I imagine it's much harder than any of us can imagine, I'm sure after a few years of coming in 3rd in the division the owner of my team would be considering moving on from my services. Going into what could be my last season and wanting to leave my Grimey mark on the MLB history books; I would do something radical.  Let me present to you the future of National League baseball the most likely couldn't actually work...


            Kyky Grime-Guy's Super Reliever Squad


Roster Breakdown:

1-8. Starting Positional Players 

9. Utility Infielder- SS, 2B, 3B-  Sacrifice hitting for fielding obviously

10. Backup 1B

11. Backup OF

12.  Backup C

13-25. Pitchers-  That's 13 pitchers for my staff:


             1 guy who is an above average pitcher- hopefully I'm a struggling team with an ace, like The Rays with Archer, if not attempt to sign/trade for one, if not possible just leave my best starter as is.


            11 guys stretched out enough for 1-2 innings
                  -This would require attempting to trade for elite relievers, however since this would obviously gut my organization's prospects (look at the Chapman and Miller deals), I feel I have a potentially better method. I would attempt to acquire underachieving, and therefore undervalued, starters with electric stuff (Pineda, I'm looking at you).  I would then ask them to pitch only 1-2 innings, anywhere from 10-30 pitches, and ramp up their stuff as much as possible in that shorter window.


           And the 13th guy that will serve as a typical long reliever- not used very often, but basically usable every night if shit hits the fan (were up/down big or an injury) or I want to give someone extra rest.


The Idea:

The basis for this idea is the fact that batters get better the more they see a starting pitcher in a given game-

2016- 1st time- BA .253,   OBP. 315,   SLUG% .406
          2nd time- .260/.322/.432
          3rd time- .272/.334/.462


So I know what you're saying to yourself, "Kyle if this is the case why wouldn't you have all of your pitchers throw 3 innings and face each batter once?"  Well two reasons: 1.  I'm hoping by limiting their usage, these former starters with already great stuff will be able to take some of their pitching to the next level since they won't have to save themselves for later innings.  2. If I'm asking these guys to push themselves even harder I don't want to overuse any of them.

Pineda inning 1
Pineda Inning 4


Methodology:

So we have pitchers: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13


In any given game we are likely to use anywhere from 7-10 pitchers.  The variance will obviously come in many ways- some guys being able to effectively go 2 innings, to some guys getting blown up and not being able to finish a single inning, extra innings, etc.  So on any given day we will have 9 of pitchers 1-12 available and 13, our long reliever, who will be used sparingly and therefore be available for use 95% of games..


For our model we're going to simplify things slightly and assume we couldn't find an ace in the offseason so were going to use 9 pitchers/game, each throwing 1 inning.


Game 1: Pitchers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13                          Day off: 10, 11, 12
Game 2: Pitchers 4, 5, 6, 7,  8,  9, 10, 11, 12, 13                  Day off: 1, 2, 3
Game 3: Pitchers 7, 8,  9, 10, 11, 12, 1, 2,  3, 13                  Day off: 4, 5, 6
Game 4: Pitchers 10, 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 13                    Day off: 7, 8, 9
Game 5: Pitchers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13                          Day off: 10, 11, 12

* Using this model, providing everyone stayed healthy, each pitcher would throw roughly 110 innings.  However, having our starter incorporated every 5th game would help to reduce the number of innings per pitcher in this model .


And the cycle continues as I ask my men to throw 3 innings over the course of 3 games before they get a night off.  As a positive the pitchers would get extra rest on nights we incorporated 13, who again will be used sparingly but almost always be available, and on nights we used a 1 or 2 guys for 2 innings.  Admittedly a huge negative will be that we will lose pretty much all extra innings, but they're rare and with the run prevention I'm hoping to create with this roster we'll be winning too many games to care.  Also remember we hope to have 1 Ace to give extra rest every 5th day.


So there you have it, come on MLB teams I dare you to hire me!  I'll create an envied winning organization that will be copycatted across baseball and work for free my first year! Either that or I'll destroy your organization for years to come with my radical ideas...



Note:  1. The Rockies should try this in their high-altitude death trap for starting pitchers 2. Will be able to play lefty/righty match ups whenever desired 3. Also use a power pitcher followed by a knuckleball type (remember when the Sox use to pitch Pedro Martinez one day and then Tim Wakefield the next) 4. Guys with different arm slots (Byung Hyun Kim followed by Brandon Webb over the top style)

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Yeah Jeets Chronicles: Part 1


We know him.  We love him.  More than likely we'd take a bullet for him.  Welcome to the Yeah Jeets Chronicles where we dissect why Jeter is the greatest living legend we have today.  Rather than start with his on the unbelievable on the field play, we will turn our attention to his off the field play.  Clearly I'm talking about the beauties Jeets has slayed through while being our beloved Captain.

Murderers' Row.  The scariest part is these are only the ones we know of



Damn Jeets you've been busy! Alright lets break this down.

1.  LF Mariah Carey: 1996



While she may seem like a joke now that was definitely not the case when she attempted to tame Jeter.  She was on the top of the music game and was the perfect introduction for a young man looking to conquer NYC rather than settle down.  Despite her fall from grace, which was hard and fast, we can't blame Jeter in the slightest for his time with MiMi. He was also a rookie...impressive.







2.  RF Jessica Biel: 2007


In 2007 the Captain claimed his next victim.  Coming into the peak of her career-7th Heaven ending
the year prior and having starred in the Illusionist with Tyler Durden- Ms Biel decided to enter a romance with Mr. Jeter.  Alas the spark just couldn't last as this relationship soon fell apart a year later.  This appears to have been a fatal attraction for Jessica's career as she has slowly become less in demand since the break up.  Coincidence? I think not, similarly to Mariah,  the loss of Jeter was obviously too much for Jessica to deal with and her career suffered.






3.  CF  Jessica Alba: 2004


Again Jeter snipes first, capturing the heart of this babe very early on in her career, a year before she stared in the films Sin City and The Fantastic Four.  This again was a very short fling for the Biracial Angel as his interest faded after a 3 month summer romance.  While we can't comprehend how this could happen in such a short time, we also can't comprehend the things Jeets has seen and done.  





4.  SS Scarlett Johanson:  During a break with our 3B?


Oh the controversy! While on a break during the fallout of his relationship with Ms. Minnilo, Jeter and Scarlett Johanson were rumored to be hooking up.  The Avengers star used her super powers to lure Jeter away-what a terrible situation for our boy Jeets! stuck between two of the most sought after women in the world, but hey who can blame them?



Yes that's also Jay-Z chilling with Jeter
5.  3B Vanessa Minnilo: 2003-05


In Jeter's first long-term relationship since becoming the glorious man that we all know and love today, Jeter settled down with Vanessa Minnilo for 2 years.  Somehow this succubus was able to keep Jeter under her spell for longer than any before her, but alas after 2 years and a few breaks Jeter was on the move again.






6.  2B Adriana Lima: 2006


Honestly I don't even know what to say about this one  Dayyyummmnn Jeter, you really outdid yourself this time.  While the relationship was brief Jeter and Victoria's Secret model Lima were linked in 2006.  From singers to actresses to models is there anything DJ couldn't handle.  If Jeets lasted longer than 2.5 seconds in the sack with Lima he should be damned proud of himself.  But then again he's the greatest living legend, so I'd bet anything Lima still thinks of our favorite shortstop's flip throw while jumping bones with her new husband. 








7.  1B Jordana Brewster: 2002-03


First seen going out clubbing for Jeters, 28th birthday,  Jeter dated the Fast and the Furious star for a little under a year.  Her eyebrows may be a little wild at times, but everything else was on point for the power couple.  Brewster got her start as the young dramatic Spanish hottie on the popular soap opera, As the World Turns.  Is it just me or do those two look a little guilty in that pic?  We get it  he's great, but you gotta keep your hands off Brewster, hands were we can see them!











8.  C Minka Kelly: 2014-16

One of his longer lasting and more recent relationships was with none other than Minka Kelly.  Best known for her role in Friday Night Lights (the tv show), Kelly and Jeter had a tumultuous relationship.  The two lovebirds were on again, off again over the course of three years.  This proved to be too much for Jeter, who has always been a model of constancy for our beloved NY Yankees.  Sorry Minka you're too good for 99.% of the men in the world but this time you met your match.



9.  DH Tyra Banks: 2001


Similarly to the Carey relationship we must remind ourself of what prime Tyra was really like.  Before she was that psycho on Tyra, she was the babiest of babes.  This former model was on the top of her game when she and Jeter allegedly hooked up.  His first experience with models didn't last long as the two separated after a few months.  Good on ya Jeter, you never were one to squander a good opportunity on or off the field.









10.  P  Hannah Davis: Current

All hail Mrs. Jeter!  The princess who was right for our Prince of NYC.  The lock down ace of our staff, good luck to you Mr. and Mrs. Jeter.  May you have healthy strong little Jeets and live long happy lives.  And specifically to Derek, thank you for letting us be a small part of your legendary life.  Oh captain my captain, Mr. Derek  Jeter.


Bonus round: other lucky ladies who have been rumored to have had the pleasure of getting to know Mr. November

Bridget Hall: Model
Lara Dutta: Miss Universe







Rachel Uchitel: Banged Tiger Woods


Joy Enriquez: another 7th Heaven actress


Vida Guerra: Model
Gabrielle Union Actress


Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Player Profile Classic Edition: Mr. Underrated

Bernie Williams: Hall of Fame?  Hall of Very Good?  Like many others before him Bernie “Sherwin” Williams, while a memorable great of his generation, was considered to be on the fringe of hall of fame worthy.  He was good enough to make the ballot, but generally considered a long shot going into Hall of Fame consideration.  Getting no love in his first year of eligibility, only 3% of the voters checked yes to Bernie’s name- guaranteeing that Mr. Underrated would never be considered again.  While we can never right this travesty, I still would like to argue that Bernie Williams is a Hall of Fame talent and should have in the least received enough votes to be considered for more than 1 year.



The Facts:

Over the course of 16 years with the New York Yankees, Williams accumulated impressive stats and was an integral part of 4 World Series championship teams.

                Career:

49.4 War

2336 Hits

287 Homers- Impressive considered AVG and Hits-overshadowed in the steroid era

1257 RBI

147 SBs   

1069 BB- with only 1212 SO    

.297 BA    

.381 OBP

-4 Gold Gloves- great instincts and range with frankly a terrible arm

ALCS MVP 1996

Silver Slugger 2002 (.333)
AL Batting Champ 1998 (.339)
The only bestselling recording artist from the MLB ever



               Post Season records (as of 2013): sorry that’s the best I could get

- 1st all-time: RBI (80)- that’s fuckin right #1 babyyyyy

- 2nd all-time: HR (22)

- 2nd all-time: Doubles (29)

- 2nd all-time: Hits (128)

- 2nd all-time: Total bases (223)

- 2nd all-time: Runs (83)

Hall of Fame Outfielders Bernie is Better than:

Kirby Puckett- Over the course of 12 years, in 600 less at bats:


302 less hits, 80 less homers, 172 less RBI, 13 less SB, 0 World Series wins and 0 Gold Gloves

Kirby edges out Bernie with a .318 AVG, but actually retired with a career .360 OBP- .20 points lower than Bernie’s


                Andre Dawson- 2,058 more at bats:

436 more hits, 151 more HR, 334 more RBI, 1367 more SB, 0 World Series wins and 0 Gold Gloves

                This is a harder sell for sure, but I would argue peak vs longevity.  Yeah Dawson compiled more offensive stats and was able to stay around for 21 long ass years, but are his stats really that impressive in almost 3,000 more at bats?

Dawson’s career AVG (.279) and OBP (.323) are both lower than Williams’ career marks


                Lou Brock- 2,463 more at bats

687 more hits, 138 less HR, 1436 less RBI, 791 more SB, 0 World Series wins and 0 Gold Gloves

                I get it, Lou Brock had 3,000 hits and stole over 900 bags, but I think that our Bernie is a comparable player.  He was a better fielder, nearly doubled Brock’s HR total, had a better AVG and OBP, and won 4 World Series rings while Brock won 0.

Brock’s career AVG (.297) and OBP (.343) are oddly low for a man with 3,000 hits.




So yeah go Bernie “Mr. Underrated” “Intangibles” “Sherwin” Williams. Eff off Ant he is a Hall of Famer


Monday, May 1, 2017

Week 4 Power Rankings

Sorry about missing last week. I know a majority of you were very upset but we do not apreciaet the tons of hate mail. We will try and give the people what they want and have new rankings every week. Anyway here are the week 4 RE2PECT Power Rankings.

*insert Jock Jams Vol. 2*

Y'ALL READY FOR THIS!!!


10 Dick Swisher- Last Week: 9th- Best: 1st

Kicking off this week, we have none other than  Dick "3 inch" Swisher.  In what could have been a disastrous week vs Team Wheels, Dick Swisher was only able to squeak out wins in HRs, SBs, and SVs.  Our Favorite Judge, Aaron, went off this week with 7 Rs, 3 HRs, 5 RBI, and an incredible .632 OBP.  In spite of Judgement Day's incredible feat Dick Swisher surrounded him with a whole lotta meh.  Some of Dick Swisher's major struggles came from Bregman and Puig who combines to go 5/30, with 1 R, 0 HR, 2 RBI, and 0 SBs.  Kersh Daddy again paved the way for a good team pitching performance week, but Unfortunately Team Wheels' team was just too dominant for Jake's floundering squad.  Better thank your lucky stars this aint roto Jake cause you're still in this.



9 Addison's Creed- Last Week: 8th- Best:7th

In Week 4 Addison's Creed got spanked like a kid after cursing at his mom. It was tough to watch and Ethnic Kiss never let up. The only category Addison's Creed won was RBI and they only won that category by 2. In fact, if the Reds didn't get rained out the 29th Votto probably hits 3 and they get swept. The injury to JoeInnes Cespedas has certainly hurt Addison's Creed but the real problem here is the lack of production from Eduardo Nunez. He literally did nothing except swipe 1 bag. As far as pitching Creed had a tough week from new Phillies closer Hector Neris who posted a 19.29 ERA.  When it rains it pours

8 The Johnny Rockers- Last Week: 7th- Best:2nd

After another disappointing week, The Johnny Rockers fall another spot coming in hot at #8.  Cj never stood a chance facing the powerhouse that was Joe's Fine Team this week.  The Johnny Rockers were swept in offensive categories, not coming close in any category- losing Rs by over 30, HRs by 12, RBI by 30, and SBs by 5.  Thankfully Cj was able to get into the win column twice this week, getting wins in Ks and ERA.  Also, coming from a Yankee fan, how is Ronald Torreyes still being rostered by Cj?!? he's a backup dawg.  The Johnny Rocker's offense will look to rebound next week, starting with his two studs Betts and Stanton who only combined this week for: 4 Rs, 0 Hr, 1 RBI, and 0 SB on 5/35.

Jump Ronald Jump

7 Teem Wheels- Last Week: 10th- Best:3rd

Here we go Team Wheels! Team Wheels overcame Dick Swisher for the win in Week 4. Team Wheels continues to overachieve and somehow squeak by week to week. Jose "Oso" Abreu finally came alive for Team Wheels and had a .619 OBP. Ryan Zimmerman continues his resurgence and knocked in 13 RBI and scored 11 runs. All I'm going to say is take Ryan Zimmerman out of this match up and Dick Swisher wins. Team Wheels had a great week but unfortunately the injury bug struck again. This time Adam Eaton aka Spanky tore his ACL and is out for the year.

Adam "Spanky" Eaton back in the Minors

6 I am Mclovin- Last Week: 2nd- Best: 2nd                                                                                         

"You still haven't told him that we're rooming together?...."Fogell, shut the fuck up. And take off that vest. You look like Aladdin." 

 I am McLovin has had a rough going so far this season. Back to back ties to start off the season followed by two straight weeks losing 3-5. Does it get any more boring than that? It doesn't. Nomar Mazara who has been on fire cooled off in week 4. Mazara had a whopping .100 OBP. I am McLovin got great production from Wade Miley who struck out 14 in Week 4. Here's to McLovin turning around the season and not wasting a potential MVP season from Fransisco Lindor.


5 Joe's Fine Team- Last Week: 6th- Best: 5th

Holy Shnikees! What and offensive week is was.  In the first clean sweep Joe's Fine Team slaughtered Cj's squad on the offensive side of the ball, winning all 5 categories.  Led by the  glorious trio of Matt Kemp, Trea Turner, and Bryce "The Bad Mamajama" Harpis, Joe's fine team was able to put up video game like numbers this week.  He was able to double Cj in Rs and RBI and quadruple him in HRs.  Joe's three musketeers  combined to go 31/85 with 27 Rs, 7 HRs 27 RBI, and 1 SB.  Had Joe only started these three hitters for the week, he still would have won 4 out of the 5 offensive categories.  The fuck mate?! Impressive? yes. Sustainable? Hell no.  While Joe's Fine Team is looking pretty damn good, we won't take too much out of this absurd week.



4 Obi Wan Canobi- Last Week: 4th- Best:4th

Ant's team faced a particularly tough loss this week.  Feeling confident and winning the matchup going into Sunday, Obi Wan Canobi fell hard to Bil's team.  While the pitching matchup between these squads' ended closely , Obi Wan Canobi wasn't able to compete with BIL on the offensive side, only capturing the win in SBs.  Despite having Billy Hamilton, Ant was only able to win SBs by 1.  Obi Wan Canobi's best hitter by far was Goldschmidt who shined going 11/22  with 6 Rs, 1 HR, 7 RBI and 3 SBs.  Despite this loss Ant's team continues to look dangerous week in and week out.  On what was already a potent offense, featuring Goldy Goldschmidt, Robbie Cano, Charles "Ballgag" Blackmon and Kyky Seager, Tony was able to add some interesting pieces with Michael "Micropenis" Conforto and Didi "Gargantuan Dong" Gregorious who have both played well this year in small sample sizes.  Keep your chin up Ant your teams looking solid.


3 Mike's Team- Last Week: 4th- Best:3rd

Mike's Team (I really do love this team's name. I just can't get enough of it and honestly in the future I might steal it for a softball league) got a huge W in Week 4. Mike's team was able to win ERA and WHIP after dropping every other pitching stat. Mike's Team did this while posting a 4.76 ERA and 1.39 WHIP. Is this good pitching or simply taking advantage of Obi Wan Canobi's weakness? The biggest story of Week 4 for Mike's Team (the name is amazing I can't even) was the down fall of Noah Syndergaard. "Thor" refused to take an MRI earlier this week and then suffered an injury the following game. He partially tore his right Lat muscle. Noah tried to be a hero and found out that he is not. With great nickname comes great responsibility. Don't be a hero unless you are prepared to perform like one and heroes don't pull this kind of move.


2 Tim Tebow Time- Last Week: 3rd- Best:1st

Always a favorite among the experts here at Re2pect Fantasy, only Jake and I,  Tim Tebow Time triumphed over last weeks #2 ranked team: I am McLovin.  With a glorious combination of hitting and pitching,  TTT may be the most well-balanced team in the league.  Tommy was able to win HR, OBP, ERA, WHIP, and QS handily and came extremely close to winning each of the other categories.  Being held back by only Jackie Bradley Jr., each of TTT's other hitters put up great offensive numbers this week.  In particular Anthony Rizzo and Khris Davis shined  combining for 9 Rs, 5 HRs, 11 RBI, and 1 SB on 8/44.  While Triple T's pitching was somewhat underwhelming, his 3 aces "the SSS Crew"-Sale, Salazar, and Strasburg- led his team to a strong overall team pitching performance.  Watch out for Tim Tebow Time or you might just be his next victim.



1 Ethnic Kiss- Last Week: 1st- Best:1st

Baby....I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray....Ooh, the more I get of you The stranger it feels, yeah....Now that your rose is in bloom, A light hits the gloom on the gray.



Sitting at the top for a second straight Power Rankings is non other than Ethnic Kiss. Hailing from Maryland this team is crushing the league. Yes this is this teams first year, Yes the Nats are killing the MLB and Yes they have Trout. Things are going well for Ethnic Kiss. They just beat down Addison's Creed like Albert Pujols vs Brad Lidge back in the 2005 NLCS. Ethnic Kiss had a hell of a week from AJ "Anthony" Pollack who stole 7 bases. Miguel "Better than Cano" Sano had 11 RBI and a .545 OBP. The question is how long can this success last? Many remember the early success of the 2015 Nationals. 48-39 at the All-star break and then collapsed to the New York Injured Pitchers. Hopefully Ethnic Kiss will grab a hold of success and ride it to the end.



Player Profile: Judgement Day

Can you bounce wit me, bounce wit me, wit me wit me....


It's Judgement Day you fools! Aaron "dropping dongs" Judge is crushing the ball every goddamn night. Eric Thames ain't got shit on my boy Judge. I know you all know this but Judge hit the hardest home run EVER at 119.4 mph. He is crushing the ball and has hit 10 dingers already this year.


Can I get a woop woop

Who exactly is this monster? First off Judge stands at 6-7 and weighs 285lbs. He hails from Linden, CA (too bad he wasn't from Linden, NJ...am I right?!) and played college ball for Fresno State. While attending Linden High School Judge excelled in baseball as well as basketball (no shit).  Judge was drafted by the Oakland A's and decided to attend Fresno State instead. The New York 27ers drafted him in the first round in 2013. Now I know some of you are reading this thinking, "but, but Jake he strikes out so much and he doesn't walk and G. Stanton does this also and I don't want a 25 year old to be successful so I have to point out his faults." Yeah yeah we get it you are all perfect. Judge has the potential to strike out a lot and you also eat fast food every once in awhile as a reward when "you had a good day and don't have time to cook dinner".  We get it Judge will come down to earth eventually because his K% last season in the MLB was 44%. Well you go to the grocery store and leave items in the wrong isle and don't even consider putting them back. My point is Judge is young raw and raking but we all have faults of our own his just happen to be within a game.


But what if I told you...Aaron Judge is not striking out a ton and he is drawing walks. So far this year Judge is striking out 26.2%. It's not great but it's better than Schwarber (31.8%), Khris Davis (29.5%) and Edwin Encarnacion (32.7%). Judge's BB% is around 11.9% which is on par with Joey Votto (11.1%) and Jose Altuve (11.2%). Simply put Judge seems to be getting comfortable at the big league level. WRC+ is used by baseball nerds to measure the runs created by a player. It takes into account the ballpark and other factors. 100 is considered average and around 160 is considered great. Judge's WRC+ right now is 230. When Bonds hit 73 HRs his was 235. Judge can't sustain this WRC+ but 30 HRs seems like a shoe-in at this point. Numbers don't matter Judge is a beast and hits bombs like Babe Ruth.

All rise....this court of Long Dingers is now in session. The honorable Aaron Judge presiding. rt